Kintsukuroi
by bandgeek18
Summary: Kintsukuroi: (n) (v. phrase) "To repair with gold"; the art of repairing with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. (Or person in this case).
1. Alone In the Dark

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter One: Alone in the Dark

A/N: I'm back! *evil laugh* So this is the winner sTory with a whole one and a held votes! Thank you to those who voted. So, this story is got in to be very dark, literally and figuratively, and sadMoat at likely it will be graphic. Here's the warnings: thoughts of suicide; attempted suicide; graphic and non-graphic torture. If you're not scared yet, you should be. If to any point you think the rating should go up, let me know. I'll keep it at 'T' for now. Anyway, please enjoy and let me know what you think!

_"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Gate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr._

I only know the darkness. It fills the area around me, pulling me in. I sit in the corner with my knees pulled up to my chest. My neck and back bowed so that my forehead could rest on my knees. I shake as I breathe, maybe from cold. Maybe it's fear. Mostly likely it's both. I try not to move too much. I don't want to draw attention to myself.

I sit in my corner, knowing that my peaceful silence could end at any minute. My ragged breath is cold on my skin; finding its way through the rips in my jeans. My raggedy, dirty, blood-covered jeans. Maybe I had a shirt once, but you can't tell anymore. Maybe there are a couple rags from it near-by. I picture the color in my mind. The soft red that had comforted me these long days.

Those days are long gone now. All I see is darkness. It closes around me to no end. My breath catches when I hear the laughing. The evil laughter of the only other creatures my mind can remember. I can picture them in their evil beings. So cruel with their touch.

"Look at the brave red ranger," the voice taunts. "Shaking and sniveling in the corner like a small child."

I don't reply, I know I can't. The marks on my skin remind me not to speak. It wouldn't be worth it. Nothing is worth the pain anymore. I scratch distantly at the peeling skin around my eyes. I pray that the monsters will go away. I want them to leave. But my simple wishing isn't enough to make them leave.

"Come here, samurai. If you can even call yourself that anymore."

_Samurai?_ I think in confusion. _Me? _The monster is right. How can I, the frightened thing in the corner, be a samurai? I am not even brave enough to speak. I am no warrior. I am a despicable being. Surrounded by monsters and pain. Pain I brought on myself.

"I said, come here!"

I stand shakily in my legs, pressing my hands into the walls on ether side of me. I walk forward slowly, scared to let go of the hard stone. I know if I do, when I do, I will be on my own, walking across a never ending patch of nothing. Never the less, I push myself gently away from my corner and approach the monster.

I take it one step at a time. I can sense more monsters around me. I feel their presence. One of them pushes me, making me stumble. I keep my balance, but only just. Another one pushes me a different way, knocking me on the ground. I grunt when I hit the ground. I get back up and feel panic rising. I no longer know which way to go. I can hear the monsters laughing around me.

The laugh at my confusion and fear. I was ordered to come. I know what will happen if I disobey. I start to shake. In my haste I trip and fall again. They laugh again. Maybe they are amused enough at my fear. Maybe I can avoid the pain I know is coming. I want to get up again, but I don't. Instead, I reach a hand forward and crawl on my hands and knees.

It's safer that way. I do not have to worry about falling. Like an animal I crawl around, hoping to find my end place. I am lost now though. I cannot see in the dark, so I stumble around. I slip again, sending pain through my arm as I caught myself. I whimper pathetically when one of the monsters grabbed my hair. It dragged me none too gently from where I was.

I cowered and covered my head when it let go. The kick to my ribs hurt as much as I thought it would. I curl into a ball, so they kick me in the back. There really is no place safe. They kick me again and again, making me grunt and whimper in pain. I shake my head again and again. _I did not mean to fall! _I wasn't to scream. _Stop! Please! Don't hurt me! I didn't mean to get lost! I couldn't help it!_

"You were very bad, red ranger," the monster says in my ear. I whimper my apologies. He slaps me across the face. "You know you were." I nod, and am slapped again. "You are a pathetic excuse of a samurai. Once a brave warrior, now you cower at the feet of a nighlock." I whimper, making him slap me and force me back to the ground.

I panic again when one of the monsters grabs my arm. It throws me against the wall. Pain courses through my head and body. I let myself fall to the ground. I do not want to stand up and find myself on the ground again. The monster, would have none of that though. It dragged me too my feet, forcing me to stand. I stand in place, too scared to move in the dark. I am hit from behind, sending me sprawling forward.

Another monster punches me in the chest, knocking the breath out of me. I gasp trying to breath as it punched me again. This time the blow is to my stomach, making me double over. It then slams its cold, monster hand into my face. My head snaps back as I fall. My muscles spasm in pain. Another monster grabs me again, twisting my arm behind my back. I sit on my knees, whimpering at the pain in my shoulder.

The monster pulls harder, making me whimper louder. I screamed when the monster twisted my wrist as well. I dropped my head in pain and defeat. The monster let go and pushed me onto the ground. I lay there, hoping they'd leave me alone. I was horribly disappointed because next, I am being dragged by my ankle across the room. I hold my breath as something hits me across the back. It was fire spread across my back.

I flinch, but it came again. Again and again, I feel the fire and pain spread across my back. I hear the crack and more pain. Wounds on my back reopen. I shake my head pleadingly, but it doesn't matter. I lay in silence, paralyzed by my fear. I was afraid of the monsters. And for reasons I couldn't even understand I was ashamed of that. I feared the monsters and their games.

Their beatings; drownings; and floggings. I fear the pain when I did something they didn't like. I feel like a broken toy. A plaything made only to amuse them. I felt disgusted at myself for the thoughts, and I don't even know why. It felt like all that existed was my pain. My pain and darkness. I let them hurt me. I did what they said to avoid pain, but I knew I couldn't always. They would just beat me anyways.

I am relived when it finally stopped. I hear the monster kneel down next to me. I wrap my arms around my head. _Please go away._ The monster held my face up, despite the fact I couldn't see him through the darkness. I feel my fear double up. I want him to stop. The monster laughs at me.

"Do you want me to stop?" I nodded, unable to help myself. "Then say please." His grip became tighter, squeezing my jaw. "If you want me to stop, then you must beg."

"P-please," I croaked. "Stop. P-please. I'm b-begging you. P-please."

"Such a disappointment. What would the other samurai say to you? Hm? Their fearless leader begging for mercy. And from a nighlock no less."

He let go and moved away. I let out a sigh of relief. More monsters grab my arms and drag me back. I am relieved to feel the comforting presence of my corner. I go back to my original position with my arms wrapped around my knees, my head bowed down under the weight of torture. I felt the blood running down my back now. I was grateful for the lack of clothes on my torso. No cloth to stick to the words or aggregate the gashes.

I can't help it that I cry. I'm scared, and alone. No one would come and save me. No one would want to. Who would ever want, or try, to rescue a broken toy? I am nothing. I am at the mercy of monsters trapped in darkness. Who would bother to help me? I cry silently and in pain. I sit in my corner of loneliness and protection. I am alone, and darkness was all I know.


	2. Voices In the Dark

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter Two: Voices in the Dark

A/N: Hey guys! Did you enjoy the first chapter? Hehe. I hope you did. Please enjoy this chapter and enjoy this chapter!

_"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Gate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr._

Time is a strange thing really. I don't know much about it. I can never tell how long has passed. I don't count the number of times I sleep. I don't try to keep track of the times I find food shoved in my hands. Tasteless, probably a plant of some kind. I think nuts are a part of it once in a while. I don't keep track of time, but I can register the fact that it was only after I'd slept and awoken many times that I hear the voices.

I hear the shouting of many voices. Some, I recognize as the monsters. Others, I do not. They are like bells in the distance. I feel that I know them, but couldn't place them. I sit in fear as I listen. The one thing I can do. I hear the sound of fighting. Swords crashing against other swords; monsters in pain. I don't know what was going on.

"Stop them!" the monster who'd called me pathetic shouts. "Stop them now! Destroy them all!"

"It's over Serrator!" cries a new voice. One that for some reason makes me lift my head. "Tell us where he is!"

"He is dead!" the monster...Serrator? replies. "You've found me too late!"

"We don't believe you!" the voice shouts again. "Tell us where he is!"

I don't know who they were looking for. All I knew was it couldn't be me. Why would it be? No one cares about me, and no one will save me. I am not worth saving. I sit in my corner and listen though. I hear the battle raging on. I wonder what will happen to me. Will the monsters get rid of me after this? And what if they lose? Will I be in even more pain? Will the victors put me through even more torture?

I don't know, so I am afraid. What will happen to me I cannot control. I shake in fear, lowering my head again. A bang against something metal makes me jump. I wrap my arms around my torso, freshly wounded from a recent whipping. I finger a few scars on my sides from past beatings. From times I thought I'd be free of pain, only to have that hope taken away from me.

_Hope is a lie,_ I think. _A horrible lie worse than any torture they can inflict on me._ I finger more wounds and a few more scars. I don't have many. The wounds are ways reopened and re-bleeding before they can heal. It's the way things work. I touch the peeling and painful flesh around my eyes again. I lower my hand and put my forehead back on my knees. I hear another bang.

I jump again, scared for the outcome of the battle. I hear another bang. And more shouting from the voice that was familiar.

"Amigos! I found a trapdoor!"

"Stop him!"

I hear more shouting and fighting. Who was this person? Were they another monster? Were they all creatures of evil; fighting over who could have the broken toy? I hear another bang and many more following. It is louder now. I become more afraid as the footsteps get closer. Footsteps only meant one thing. Only one being ever came to my darkness. I don't want pain.

I whimper in fear. _Please stay away._ I want the monsters to go away. I hear more sounds and push myself farther into my corner. I hear the sound of a door opening. I cower even more, putting a hand over my head a whimpering. I hear the footsteps approaching. I don't like the footsteps. They mean pain is coming, pain and begging. And begging and pain.

I hear someone gasp. I squeeze my hands. _Please go away._ I whimper as the footsteps got closer. Then, I hear something that makes my heart stop.

"Jayden," the voice says. It was nothing like the monster's. Full of ridicule, evil, and gloating. Nor was it similar to the angry, and forceful voice that had been fighting the monsters. "Jayden."

I turn my face into the corner as it got closer. _Please go away._

"Jayden...Jay? It-it's me. Amigo. Come on Jay."

I want to listen to the voice, but I'm scared. The voice was scaring me. I didn't like being near noises, they meant pain.

"Jay..." I jump as the owner of the voice touches me. Not grabbing me; not slapping or hitting in any way. He doesn't touch my wounds, or wound me. All he does is lay his hand on my chest gently. "Jayden. It's me. It's Antonio. Your amigo."

_Antonio..._ I know that name...I think. _It means something..._ What though? I know the voice named Antonio...and the voice knows me. I am still scared though. All I can remember is pain. How did I know this Antonio? Did he hurt me too? Had he always been here, just silent before now? I don't want to trust him. Hope and trust were lies. Empty lies that ended in pain. As did everything.

"Jay...Jayden...Amigo. It's me. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. Please Jay. The others are here too. Mike and Mia are standing by the door. It's ok. We're here now. We're here to save you."

I unwind myself a little. _Save me? Why would this...Antonio...save me? Why does he think I'm worth saving? What game is he playing?_

"It's us. You're friends. I won't hurt you. I promise, as long as I'm here, the only way they could hurt you is over my dead body." He places another hand on me. This touch is just as gentle as the last one. "Please Jay. Come with us."

_Your dead body._ I feel inclined to do as I'm told. The Antonio person wants me to come with him. _"Come here samurai."_ I unwind myself slowly and turn my head toward the voice in the darkness.

"Damn. Damn those nighlocks." There is a pause, and I feel one of his hands move from my skin. There is a small breeze of air from his hand as he waves it in front of my face. I don't even blink in the darkness. "Damn them." He holds my hands gently, but firmly. "Come on, Jay. We'll take you home. I promise."

_Home..?_ I have a hard time believing the voice who promises to help. _Why would you help me? _But, with no options, I have no choice but to let the Antonio-person guide me to my feet. I tremble in fear as he holds me up by my arms.

"Come on Jay. Lets go home."

I feel him wrap an arm around me and lead me through the darkness. _Where am I going!? Where are you taking me?!_ I hear other footsteps near us. I try to shrink away, but the Antonio-person has an arm around me and I cannot get away. I feel trapped in his embrace. _Please leave me alone._

"Jayden," the voice says. "We need to find a way to get you out of this hole. Can you climb?" I don't answer. I can only talk when I beg. For mercy or food. "I'll take that as a no then. Ok. Um..." He stops, and I worry. What will he do if he cannot do what he wants? I shake in fear at the thought. "Hey it's ok. It's alright. We'll get out of here I promise."

He unwraps his arm and guides my hands to something metal. "Jayden, we need you to climb. Please? Just...keeping reaching and pulling yourself up. When you get close enough Kevin will pull you through the door."

I do not want pain, so I do as I'm told. I reach up in the darkness slowly, pulling myself up the small pieces of metal. I keep doing this until someone reaches down and grabs my arms.

"Hang on Jayden," he says. "I'm going to pull you up." I try to hang on to the metal like I was told, but the new voice is stronger and easily separates me from it. I shake as I feel the ground beneath me again. The hands are still on my arms, holding me up. I'm so afraid of the voice.

"Hey, I got him," the Antonio-voice says. The hands let go and the Antonio-person holds me up instead. "It's alright amigo. We're going home." He wraps an arm around me again and leads me on. I walk unsteadily though the darkness. I wait for the monsters to come. For one of the voices around me whispering to trip me.

I wait for the arm around me to become to tight, or to hit me. But it doesn't. The person by my side is gentle, with one arm around my bare and beaten shoulders; the other gently enclosing my hand. I gulp as we walk farther. _Where am I going? I want my corner._ I think longingly of it. Wanting to feel the cool stone on ether side of me. Reminding me that I wasn't being beaten.

I wince as my feet walk over things that are sharp. They bite into my bare feet; pinching the skin. I stumble and fall; breaking the Antonio-person's grip on me.

"Jayden," I hear him say. I fear the worst and curl into a tight ball. He puts his hand on me, making me jump and whimper. "Hey, it's ok. I'm not got in to hurt you. I promise."

I shake as he grabs my arms again and pulls me up. I try to pull away, but he's stronger than me. I shake my head. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want them to hurt me.

"It's ok. It's ok." Antonio-person puts his arm around me again. His grip is a little tighter this time. I know now he will not let go of me again. I feel trapped as he leads me on again. My hand not clinging onto his fingers shake. I do not knew where I am in the darkness. I scratch absently at my skin.

"Don't pick at it Jay," a new voice says, pulling my hand away. I whine and the voice lets go. "I- sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Just...you shouldn't pick at your skin. It looks bad enough already."

"Leave him alone Mike," another voice whispers. This one is quiet and gentle.

"He shouldn't pick at his skin. It won't help if he makes his skin worse."

"Honestly," says the voice that pulled me off the metal, "I don't see how it could be worse."

I don't like the voices. They scare me, and yet they feel familiar. I feel somewhere inside of me that I do know them. But I am too sacred to listen to my gut. My brain so too busy telling me to be scared. _They want to hurt me,_ I think. _That's what everybody wants. To hurt me. To torture me._

I wince some more as the wood on the ground snaps beneath me. It pinches at my soles and and the cuts and welt on my feet. I bite my lip, not wanting to upset the voices around me. It gets harder to walk though. I start limping a little on both feet.

"Are you ok?" the Antonio-voice asks me. I don't answer. "Hey, do your feet hurt?" I whine a little in response. "Do you want to stop?"

"P-please," I respond quietly. "P-please...f-feet h-hurt...p-please..."

"It's ok," he says. "We can stop and sit for a few minutes." He leads me a few more feet. And gently pushes me down by my shoulders. I sit on the rough ground, hands shaking. I hear the Antonio person sitting next to me. He holds my hand gently, refusing to let go. I feel more hands on me. One on my shoulder; another on the small of my back; a third on my knee; a fourth on my left arm; and the last on one of my hurting feet.

They don't hurt me. They just sit so they can feel me. Like they want to know that I'm real. Part of me wants that recognition. They too feel like an unreal entity. But, they must be real. All of this feels real to me. I shiver in the warmth, it feels so different to the cold that I'm used to. I brush one of m hands along the ground, feeling the dirt on the ground. _Dirt,_ I think. _Outside. I'm outside._

One of the hands on my strokes my arm gently. I pull away a little, anticipating being hit.

"Sorry," the voice says. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I shake at all the touch. I'm not used to it, and it makes me nervous. I don't want to upset the voice though. For now, they seem very complacent with me. _I can be good,_ I promised silently. _I will do whatever you want._ One of the hands squeezes me a little, making me jump. The hand is startled and rubs me a little bit.

"S'ok Jay," the voice says. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

_Jay? Why do they call me that?_ Something about it feels familiar though. For some reason, I hear the echoes of more voices calling me that. _Jayden..._

"We should get going," one of the voices says. "We should get back before dark."

_It's already dark,_ I think as I am pulled to my feet. I stumble, suddenly light-headed. One of the voices grands my arm and pulls me close. He holds me tight, as he steadies me. I squirm at the sudden grip.

"It's ok," the voice says. It's the Antonio-voice. "I won't hurt you. Promise." He wraps an arm around my shoulders again, and leads me onwards. Time is still difficult to track. The darkness doesn't allow for me to know where I am. All I can do is hope for the best. I know I'm outside. I can't feel heat and taste the fish air. It's nice and light in my lungs. I glance around cautiously in the dark a few times.

_Where are we going?_ I wonder for the hundredth time as the journey wears on. I begin to think that they are simply taking me to my death. _I don't want to die,_ I think. _I don't want to die._ I start to stumble so more. I'm not used to walking this far, and my legs can't hold me up.

"It's ok," the Antonio-voice says. "Just hold on a bit longer Jay. The Shiba House is just up ahead."

_Shiba House..._ It's one of the many things that feels familiar. An odd presence passes over me. I can't explain it, but when it's done, I feel strange. Almost safe...but I know that's a lie. No where is safe. Safe doesn't exist.

"It's ok, Jayden," Antonio-voice says. "You're safe now. You're home."


	3. Home, Dark and Teriffying, Home

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter Three: Home, Dark and Terrifying, Home

A/N: hello! *evil laugh* I've finished another chapter! Please ra view and enjoy!

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

The first thing I notice is how smooth the ground becomes. It's no longer rough and poking. It's gentle and clean feeling. The next thing I notice is the new voice. This one sounds older than the others.

"What- oh...my...god! Jayden!" The arm around me lets go, leaving me alone in the dark. I whimper and flinch as two arms are suddenly around me, squeezing me against the owner of this new voice. I whimper louder, wanting him to let go. When he does I feel him take my head in his hands. I jump and try to pull away. "It's ok," he says quietly. "It's ok. Dammit Jayden. What happened to your eyes?"

"Freaky, right?" one of the voice says.

"Mike, make yourself useful and get some water. Antonio, Kevin, take him to the infirmary room."

"Alright," the Antonio-voice says. He grabs one of my arms, the other person, Kevin..., takes the other. They walk me slowly across the smooth ground. Soon I am being pushed down again. I jump when I find myself sitting on something soft. _A bed,_ I think. _Yes, this is a bed._

"Lay down," Antonio-voice says to me. I do as I am ordered and lay down on the bed.

"Leave," says the voice who told them to bring me here. "I'll take care of him. Go rest with the others." The must not leave because then he says, "Go on. You're not doing a lot of good just staring there." I hear them a walk away. The man begins touching my arm gently. I flinch at his fingers. "It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just checking your injuries."

I squirm away from him. He suddenly grabs me and I yelp. "Careful!" he says. "You almost fell off the bed." I start shaking in fear of a punishment. His grip becomes looser and he pats my hair. "It's ok. Jayden, I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me. I swear."

_"I'm not got in to hurt you." Empty promises. Everything hurts me. All beings want to hurt me. They should. I'm nothing._ I tense again as he rubs something on my cuts. "It's just some water and soap," he says. "You really need a bath. Not only are you covered in dirt and blood, but you stink." I'm not sure what to do with this statement. "It's ok," he says, continuing to talk to me. He pushes gently in my ribs, making me wince. "Broken. Most of them. Sorry.

"I need you to turn over now, so I can look at your back." I recognize a command in his soft vice and roll over so I'm laying on my stomach. I hiss as something stings my wounds. _No, no more please! I didn't do anything!_ "It's ok, it's ok. I'm sorry, but I have to clean these or they'll get infected." I lay with my head to the side, facing the voice. "These welts are deep. Sit up." He helps me to sit up so my my legs are sitting over the edge.

"Ok, so now, I'll get one of the others to make sure you get cleaned up. Then I'll wrap your torso. Ok?" I nod to show understanding.

"I can do it," Antonio-voice says.

"I thought I told you to leave?"

"You told me to leave the room. I'm standing in the hall."

The voice sighs. I wonder if Antonio-voice will get punished for talking back... _"Don't talk back to your betters," the monster said, whipping me again as I screamed..._

"Jayden," the voice says. I blink in the darkness and shake my head. "It's ok. Antonio's going to make sure you get a bath."

"Come on Amigo." The Antonio voice grabs my arm again with his gentle touch and leads me somewhere else. I follow submissively, wanting to keep them contented. Antonio person pushes me down onto something. I jump when I hear a loud sound. "Hey, I'm got in to be right back, ok? Don't move a muscle." I sit, completely paralyzed while I wait. I listen to the sound of the water. _Water..._ I lick my lips, suddenly realizing how thirsty I am.

_When's the last time I had water?_ I can't really remember. I bite my lip. _I'm alone,_ I think. I slip off of what I'm sitting on and crawl in the dark. I crawl towards the sound. I reach out and feel the smooth surface of the tub. I pull myself up into my knees and reach into the water. It feels cold and fresh. I raise my hand it my mouth and sip at it.

I drink it gladly. I'm so thirsty, I forget about the fact I was told to stay put. I drink another handful. Most of the water falls beaten my fingers, but some makes it to my mouth.

"Hey! What're you-"

I jump and scrambled back. I run into a wall quickly and stay where I am. I curl into a ball and whimper. I hear the footsteps approaching. Anticipating pain, I whimper and cringe. "S-s-s..."

"What?" Antonio-voice asks. "What did you say?"

I shook my head earnestly. _Now I've done it. _"Sorry," I choke out. I'm so scared I start to cry. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Antonio-voice argues. He holds my head in both his hands and lifts it up. I flinch and cringe, waiting for him to hit me. He doesn't. "Jayden, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I was just a little shocked when I saw you. That's all. I'm not mad. You're not in trouble."

"I-I v-very s-sorry," I stammer.

"I know I you are. But you're not in trouble. Ok?" I nod for his benefit. "Ok then. So now, I'm gonna say something very awkward. If we weren't in these circumstances the others would laugh at me. I'm gonna take you're pants off, ok?" I nod again, wanting to please this voice. Just because he doesn't punish me the first time, doesn't mean he won't.

"Alright then." I feel him carefully remove me jeans. "I should burn these," he mutters as he does. When I'm naked, I sit in waiting. "Ok, now, you need to stand up so we can get you in the tub." The loud noise stops, presumably he's shutting of the water. Next, the voice picks me up. "We need to get you some food, Jay," he says. "I'm not supposed to be able to pick you up like this."

I cling to him a little as he places me in the water. I start shaking..._My lungs burned with a lack of oxygen, as the monsters hold my head under the water..._ "It's ok, relax. You're going to be fine." He started pouring water over my head with a cup. I sputter a little bit as it runs down my face. I feel the Antonio-voice start putting something in my hair. He hums as he does. "Don't feel weird about me seeing you naked," Antonio-voice tells me. "I love you in a purely platonic way."

I turn my head at him, keeping my eyes down. _L-love me? Why? I'm nothing. Why would you care about me? It's probably a trap._ He pours the water over my hair again; tilting my head back a bit, keeping the soap out of my eyes. His humming continues as he works his finger carefully though the knots in my hair. "You need a hair cut, Jay," he tells me. "Add it to the list of things we need to accomplish." He sighs and finished rinsing my hair.

He then splashes something in the water and begins scrubbing me. "Wash, wash, Jayden. Make him nice and clean," he sings. "Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, make him nice and clean." I frown and slash the water a bit with my fingers. He continues to scrub me gently. "Sorry," he says when I flinch. "Ji wants me to clean your wounds very well so he can put some ointment on them. Plus there's a lot of dirt and dried blood on you."

I flinch again as he scrubs the wounds on my back. "Ji wasn't kidding, these are pretty deep." He pours water over my body, rubbing it in some areas to clean way more dirt. "Hey look, I found your skin. And bruises, yikes. No way to hide all of them I think." He sighs and pulls me to my feet. "Ok, now, just step up, alright. Now the other foot." I stand shivering as he warps a towel around me.

"Ok, now comes the fun part of trying to get you dressed. I picked out your favorite red pajamas." He chuckles a bit and makes sure I'm dry. "Ok." I feel clothes in my hands and put them on. I almost lose my balance as I do, but Antonio-voice is there to help me. I shy away from his touch. I don't like touch. Touch means pain. It's what I'm used to. But not with him. He is very gentle.

I jump as the water drains and try to get away. "Hey!" He grabs me suddenly. "It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. Come on now, Ji's probably waiting for us." He walks me back carefully, guiding me around a couple corners. I soon find myself back on the bed.

"He looks...better."

"Yeah. I guess. Maybe if you don't look at his face." I look down and he laughs. "It's ok Jay. You'll always be as handsome as you used to be to me."

"Why don't you leave for real this time?" Ji-voice suggests. "I'll take care of him from here."

"He gonna..um...socialize?"

"I don't think that's best right now."

"Yeah probably. The others are in a bit of shock right now."

"It's understandable. They did think he was dead a few hours ago."

"Don't remind me," Antonio-voice snaps angrily.

"Antonio," Ji-voice says comfortingly. "You have to understand-"

"You know what, I'm going to go see about dinner." I hear his footsteps leave and Ji-voice sighs.

"You know, I never would've thought you going missing would have this effect on the team." He begins pulling off my shirt. I know better than to fight back, but I whine in protest. "I need to look at your back again and warp you middle up." I shiver a little in fear, it's too warm to be cold. "This is going to sting," he warns me, his voice now coming from behind. I nod into the darkness. I'm used to stinging. The whip that caused the gashes stings like fire.

I still gasp at the feeling though. "It's ok," he says. "You're ok." He finishes and starts wrapping something around me. I tense, waiting for whatever it was to suffocate me, or worse. But it doesn't. I realize it is just a bandage to help me. I wonder even more when this will end. It scares me not knowing when or how they will hurt me. _They're playing mind games,_ I think. _Making me put my guard down so I feel more pain when they hurt me._

I can't trust them. I can't trust anyone. "Ok," Ji-voice says when he's done. "Go ahead and put your shirt on." I do it quickly, eager to have a shirt again. _I don't deserve one,_ I think. _I'm a bad, bad, samurai._ "Now, I'm afraid I can't ignore the elephant in the room any longer." His voice is in front of me now. I feel him take my head in his hands. He turns my head left and right.

"Second and third degrees burns," he says. "Peeling skin, that's a sign of healing. You're pupils, and entire eyes are bleach white." He touches my skin gently, making me pull back. "Sorry. Ok, now, I need you to answer me. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. What you've been through, I know it can't be easy. Just...I need to know what's wrong. Now, tell me what you see."

I hesitate, not wanting to talk and be punished, but I don't want to disobey and be punished too. "Dark," I say, almost silently. "Darkness."

"Darkness," he whispers sadly. "Oh Jayden. Jayden, Jayden, Jayden. I don't know how they did this, but- I just don't know. I'm so sorry." He brushes back my bangs. "You need a haircut. I'm going to get you some food now. Just stay here don't move. I don't want you to hurt yourself or something." I nod and sit back.

I hear his footsteps leaving and run my hand over the soft blanket. I want to cry from the happiness I'm feeling. It's been so long since I've felt something like this. Cautiously, I lay down; sucking in my breath at the feeling body a pillow. My heart starts pounding as I wrap my arms around my face. It feels safe. Safe and warm. Warm is something I miss.

I wait in anticipation of food. It's never a lot, but my stomach always hurts with hunger pains. I can feel all my ribs through my shirt. I sit up when I hear footsteps approaching. They stop and I tense. I wonder who it is. Is it a monster? I start shaking a little; each tremor rocking my body.

"What're you doing?" Ji-voice asks.

"Sorry," says the other one. It's a girl's voice. "I just...I just wanted to see him." I hear the footsteps go away and Ji-voice sighs.

"They're a sight to see, Jayden. Anyways, here's some soup. You're really thin, so I don't think you're able to handle anything too solid for a while." I feel a bowl being pressed into my hands. "Careful, it's a little hot." My hand is guided to a spoon. It wrap my fingers around it; using my other hand to grasp the bowl. I trust there is food in my spoon and raise it to my mouth. In lower my head to meet it in anticipation and sip. It's warm and tasty. I take another one, swallowing another spoonful. I start crying, tears slipping down my face.

"Jayden," Ji-voice says, putting his hand on my arm. "Are you ok?" I nod. Then, I feel him taking the bowl away. Earnestly, I shake my head and whine. I wanted to eat more. I wanted more than two spoonfuls of this heaven. I grip the bowl and Ji-voice stops pulling. "Jayden," he says. "It's ok. I'm not going to take it from you." _Liar._ I continue to eat the soup, spoonful by spoonful. It feel weird in my stomach. It's warm and wonderful. I never thought I would taste something like this ever again.

I continue to eat, waiting every second for when I find that there's no more food. When I do, I feel sad. But I feel something else as well...full. My stomach doesn't hurt because its empty, and its not growling with hunger ether. I start feeling overwhelmed. Clean; warm; full...it all felt like a dream. _That's what this is,_ I think as Ji-voice takes the bowl from my hands. _A wonderful dream. Soon, I will wake up in the cold. I will feel the hunger pains and the monsters will come and hurt me._

I find myself wishing I could never wake up. I want to stay in this dream forever. Ji-voice puts his hand on my shoulder. "I think it's time for you to go to bed," he says. He pulls me off the bed, and leads me out. _Floor is nice,_ I think. _I can sleep easily._ I'm feeling tierd after walking, and eating so much today. Ji-voice lets go and I stand in place. "Alright," he says pushing me down. I find myself sitting on another bed. "It's nice to see you in your room again."

_My room..._ "Lay down." I do what I'm told and he covers me with a blanket. "You're safe now," Ji-voice says, brushing back my hair. "You're safe." He says it like he's just convincing himself of it. Like a reassurance. "Sleep well." I hear him leave and pull the blanket tighter. I had missed blankets. Warm food and blankets. _Just a dream,_ I think bitterly. _Just a dream._


	4. Not A Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter Four: Not A Dream

A/N: hello readers! Here the next chapter. Poor Jayden. We find out more about what happened in this chapter. They'll be hints before we get to the middle where we get the whole story. ;) Please enjoy and review!

_"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr._

_I sit in my corner rubbing at ropes around my wrists. They're tight, slightly cutting off the circulation. I rub them against the wall, hoping I can get rid of them. Something grabs my hands and drags me forward. I shake me head earnestly. 'No! Not today!', I think, 'Please leave me alone!' The monster drops me on the floor somewhere. I put my head in my arms._

_I feel the monster stroke my head. I flinch and try to squirm away. I gasp when he grabs my hairs and pulls my head back. "Bad samurai," he says. "Very bed samurai." My heart pounds. I want more than anything for the monster to let go. To not feel pain. The monster lets go and I feel a kick in my ribs. I yelp and turn over, but that doesn't stop them._

_"Looks like you need another lesson in manners," the monster says. The other ones pick me up and hang me on something. I squirm and pull, trying to get free. I wait for a second. I scream when the whip digs into already open wounds. I scream again; and again; and again; blood drips down my back. I don't hang my head though. Something won't let me. Not yet. I scream again at the crack and fire following. _

_"Jayden," says a voice. I'm confused. That's Antonio-voice. So Antonio-voice is a monster. "Jayden, wake up. It's just a nightmare."_

_No, I want to tell him. It's not just a dream for me. It's real. The monsters are real. So is the pain that they cause. I feel something shaking me gently. Shaking me and rubbing my back. I wince at the shooting pain down my spine it causes. "Jay, wake-up."_

I open my eyes in the dark and sit up suddenly. I feel someone grabbing my wrists and try to resist. _No! No! No!_ They hold tighter and pin my arms together. I shake my head whining. Why wouldn't they let go?

"Hey, hey! It's just me. It's Antonio. It's ok. Clam down." He lets to of my wrists and wraps an arm around me. "There. That better?" I want to tell him nothing can make it better. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe now. You're ok now."

He wraps his other arm around me and gives me a hug. "You're ok," he says. "I promise, Jayden, the nighlocks will never hurt you again." _You lie,_ I think. I feel him let go and push me back down. "It's the middle of the night. Go to sleep." I feel Antonio-voice leave and grab his wrist. I can't explain it, but something about him makes me feel safe. He was there in the darkness to save me. I shake my head. If he leaves, the monster might come back.

"It's ok," Antonio-voice says. "You're ok. Just go back to sleep." He tries to leave, but I grab his wrist even tighter. I pull, trying to make him stay. He can protect me from the nightmares. He is not like the other voices. "You want me to stay?" Antonio-voice asks. I nod. "Ok," he agrees. I feel him sit by me and hold my hand. "That better?" I nod. "Go to sleep Jay." I close my eyes and try to sleep, but my nightmare keeps replaying in my head.

It's feels so real; I can still feel the pain. Antonio-voice strokes my hair, singing softly to me. I do not understand the language he uses, but his words have a calm feel to them. I listen in silence to the quiet words. I feel couple tears slip down my face. I have a hard time remembering when I felt this safe. I hold tight to Antonio-voice's hand. He squeezes mine gently in return.

-Kintsukuroi-

When I feel awake again, Antonio-voice is still there, holding my hand. I keep my eyes closed, enjoying the peace it brings. I know the day will bring the other voices, and I don't like them. They might hurt me, as long as Antonio-voice isn't there to protect me. I hear the door open and footsteps coming in.

"What're you doing in here?" Ji-voice asks.

"He was having a nightmare," Antonio-voice explains. "I came in to check on him and he wanted me to stay."

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Yeah. I dozed off for a few hours. Don't worry, I'm ready to go."

"Well, you'll be late for training, so get moving."

"Alright." Antonio-voice sounds reluctant and I feel him let go. I start to feel scared. I don't want him to lead me alone. I hear him leave and lie still, unsure of what to do.

"Jayden," Ji-voice says quietly coming closer. "Jayden, its time to get up." I blink when he shakes me gently, shying away form his touch. "Careful," he wants me, grabbing me. "Sorry," he amends quickly when I pull away, flinching. "You almost fell off the bed again." Het lets go. "Come on, sit up."

I sit up, removing my blanket. "Good. Now, lets get you dressed and you can have some breakfast." I sit on the edge of the bed stiffly, waiting to see what would happen. "Come on, stand up." I feel him pull me into a standing position. I wrap my arms around myself. "Come on, we can't change your shirt if you're holding it down." I force myself to let go and feel Ji-voice pull my shirt over my head. I still don't like his touch. I feel him hand me a new shirt and I put it on.

When I'm fully dressed in new clothes he leads me away. I follow obediently. He sits me down in a chair and I stay out, staring out at the darkness. I hear him out something down in front of me, pressing a spoon into my hand. He grabs my other hand, and I try to pull away. "It's ok," he says. He puts my hand on the side of a warm bowl. I pull the bowl closer and drop my spoon into it. I eat the mush inside with great happiness.

My heart pounds, waiting for Ji-voice to take it away, and make me beg for more. I eat another spoonful; my heart start pounding in anticipation. _Not possible,_ I think. _They will hurt me soon. Maybe Antonio-voice will protect me._ When I finish eating Ji-voice takes the bowl away. "Lets go," he says. "I have to have to change your bandages, and then you can sit in the yard. Ok?"

I nod, unsure of why him is asking me. He leads me somewhere else and I'm once again pushed onto another seat. "Take your shirt off." I do why he says an clutch it in my hands. I like my shirt, so maybe if I hold it he won't take it away. I feel him beginning to unwind the bandages, making me put my hands up. He gently touches the area around my wounds when he's finished making me yelp. "Sorry." He moves his hand, but its back again out something on the cuts.

I wince and whine, closing my eyes at the stinging. _Ow! That hurts! Stop!_ I think earnestly. When he's finished he wraps me back up again and leaves for a minute. I put my shirt back on and hear someone approaching. Next thing I know, I hear someone shout at me. Back up, which makes me fall off my seat. I land in my back, making me cry out in pain. I hear the footsteps coming and curl into a ball, arms covering my head.

_Please don't hurt me._ The footsteps stop and I ain't for whoever it is it to grab me or hit me. But they don't.

"Sorry Jayden," they say. I can recognize this voice as well. _Kevin,_ I think, remembering the day before. Kevin-voice puts his hand on my shoulder. "Are you ok?" _It's a trap,_ I think. _They're always trying to trap me. They want me to speak so they can hurt me._ Wanting to outsmart them I clench my jaw and merely nod. "Ok. Here, let me help you up." He grabs my arms and pulls me up from the floor.

I stiffen and flinch at his touch. He lets go soon though. I hear more footsteps coming.

"What're you doing inside?" Ji-voice asks.

"I forgot my water bottle," Kevin-voice answers. "I came into to get it and accidentally scared Jayden."

"You should be more careful," Ji-voice scolds. "Why don't you take him outside? I'm sure he'd like some fresh air. Does that sound nice Jayden?"

_The monster laughed while I coughed, among my chest hurt. "I think we should have some fun today." I feel him press a blade against my neck._ I don't answer right away, but one of them takes my arm anyways and leads me away. I'm still barefoot and can feel the ground change. A gust of wind hits me in the face. I flinch a little, but it feels good. I've been inside for so long, being outside is like a miracle.

I hear the sound of people fighting. Ji-voice sits me down on the ground. I find I can lean against something. A bench maybe. "Antonio," Ji-voice says. "Keep an eye on him."

"Ok!" Antonio-voice shouts back.

"I'll just be inside," Ji-voice says putting a hand on my shoulder. I pull away instinctively. "Just stay here and relax." I hear him leave and pull my legs up to my chest. I wrap my arms around them, making me feel better. I hear the continued sounds of fighting from in front of me. I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I take a deep breath and smile at the clean, fresh feeling of the air.

"Ow!" I jump when I hear Antonio-voice. "Jeez, Mike- ow!"

I jump again and bury my face. One of them is hurting Antonio-voice. (Am I next?) I wonder. I sit very still, hoping they won't see me. I hear the fighting continue, but no further outbursts from Antonio-voice. I hope his is not too hurt. It makes me sad to think he would be.

Sometime later on of the voices says, "Lets take a break." I hear them approaching and my muscles tense.

I hear someone sigh next to me. "Hey Jay," Antonio-voice says. "Good to see you getting some fresh air. And sunlight. You're even paler than usual." I can hear him drinking something. I lick my own lips, feeling thirsty. I hope that the voices will give me water. When they don't I feel sad, keeping my head on my knees.

"Come on," Kevin-voice says. "Lets get back to work."

"I'm gonna kick your butt this time," one of the voices says.

"I doubt that," Antonio-voice responds.

_He's gonna hurt Antonio-voice,_ I think. I clench my jeans in my hands. _Please don't hurt Antonio-voice. They'll hurt him because he tries to protect me. I shouldn't let them. _I lift my head a bit and rest my chin on my knees.

_I pull away from the monsters as they drag me from my corner. They throw me on the ground and kick me a few times. One of them grabs my hair and pulls my head up. I close my eyes in pain. _

_"Haha. Does that hurt, Red Ranger?" the monster cooed. He grabbed my neck and lifted me to my knees. "This so where you belong. On your knees." He pushed me backwards onto the ground. The monsters tie my hands together and hang me with my arms above my head. I dangle in the air, waiting for the pain. I scream in pain from the whip. Soon blood is dripping down my back._

_It stops, and I tense, wondering why. Then, feel fire engulf my whole body. The water hits my back, but drips to my legs. I scream and scream, but nothing can take the pain away. It digs into the gashes in my back. My throat is raw from screaming. My muscles are on fire. I try to control my breathing. Tears prick at the edges of my eyes. I wipe them shamefully on my shoulder._

_My back arches forwards as my muscles try to clam down. The fire is till stinging my back. I can feel it in my blood, spreading poison through my body. The water found its way through the rips in my jeans burned my legs. I gasp for breath. The pain is too much for me to handle. I hear the monster laughing at my pain. _

_I scared again when scaling, white-hot pain hits my barefoot. I squirm and pull at the ropes holding me up, but its useless. The monsters hold my foot in place as they burn the sole. I scream until my throat hurts. I feel the pull the white hot metal away; dragging skin with it. My foot is throbbing now. Add to the pain in my back, its unbearable. They garb the other one and repeat the process._

_I kick at them, feeling my foot hit one. In punishment, they move the metal off my foot and slam the thin pole into my leg. My eyes water and sob. More skin is pulled away as the move the iron stick off my leg. I feel they cut me loose and drop to the ground. I land feet first,then drop into my back. I lay on the ground twitching and cringing in pain. My muscles spasm, and burn. I son, painful dry sobs as I lay there. 'Make the pain stop,' I think dully. 'Please. Make it stop…'_

A sudden loud noise pulls me back to reality. I lift my head up and look around wildly. What was it? I hear the others running. Something's wrong probably. "Jayden," Ji-voice says. "Come on." He grabs my arm, ignoring my pulling away. "Lets go inside until the others are back."

-Kinstukuroi-

Sometime later I'm sitting on the floor somewhere. Ji-voice left me here, promising he removed anything that could hurt me. I reach out to make sure the door is still open a crack. Ji-voice told me not to shut it all the way. I hear a door somewhere open and close, followed by voices.

"That was fast," Ji-voice observes.

"Oh, Serrator didn't want to fight," one of the voices says. "He wanted to mess with our heads."

"What- how?"

"You should've been there Ji," Antonio-voice says. "You should've heard him. 'You rangers took something that belongs to me!'"

"I thought Antonio was got in to tear him to pieces," Kevin-voice remarks.

"I was ready too, you guys shouldn't have held me back."

"Getting yourself killed would've solved nothing. And besides, taking Serrator on alone is what got us in this mess in the first place."

"He's gonna pay," Antonio-voice promised.

"Don't let your anger-"

"Don't let my anger decide?! You've seen what they did to Jayden! They held him captive for six months and tortured him! The blinded him for god's sake! I usually let things go, but not this time. They went too far this time. Serrator will pay for what he's done. I swear, if its the last thing I do!"

I shake at the malice in his voice. He sounds very angry. _Jayden,_ I think. _I am Jayden._ I nod and touch the skin around my unseeing eyes. _I am Jayden._


	5. Not the Same Jayden

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought _

Chapter Five: Not the Same Jayden 

A/N: Hello readers, and Miss DJ Classy B., I know it's been forever since I've updated this story. The bunnies were being difficult. Anyways, please enjoy and review!

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

I sit perfectly still. I can still remember the anger and hatred in Antonio-voice's words. It scares me the way he talks. Like his anger will be solved with violence. I wrap my arms around my legs and wait for Ji-voice to come get me. I hear his footsteps approaching and slide over a little. I can feel my shoulder hit a corner. As I hear him open the door I squeeze myself into my corner.

"Jayden," he says. "Come on. It's ok." I shake my head try to curl up into a ball. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?" I shake my head. He's quiet for a minute. "Are you scared?" I nod. "Are you scared of me?" I hesitate, then nod. I can't trust any of them. I thought that Antonio-voice could protect me, but hearing him yell scares me. I don't want them too be mad. "Jayden." Ji-voice takes my hands gently. I flinch and pull away, but its all in vain. I shake my head earnestly. "It's ok. Jayden, I swear on my life, that none of us are going to hurt you.

"No one in this house would ever, dare hurt you like the nighlocks did. Never. Everyone here loves you, wether you believe it or not." He lets go and puts his hands on ether side of my head. Again, I flinch and pull away, hitting my head off the wall behind me. I whimper pathetically. "It's ok. I know they hurt you, and I will do everything in my power to help you. I just hope I'm not too late." _Always too late,_ I think. _You don't care about me. Nobody does. Everything hurts me. The darkness surrounds me. It hides all the evils. Everything is evil._ I shake when he doesn't let go. I want him to stop touching me.

He strokes my hair gently with one of his hands. He moves his other one to my shoulder. He does it in a strange way. Like he's trying to clam me down. _Stop! Stop playing games with me!_ I want him to stop more than anything. I want him to stop acting like he cares. I don't know why he would. Nobody was ever there in the darkness. Now one was there to help me. Not ever! How can he attempt to make that ok? How can they act all kind, when all I'd felt was scared. Scared and pain. They couldn't help me. No one could. I shouldn't trust them. _No,_ I think. _I will protect myself. Always protect myself._

-Kintsukuroi-

Later that day, Ji-voice takes me to eat again. I sit and eat tensely. I hear more footsteps coming in. "Ahola," Antonio-voice says. "Hi. Jayden. How's it going?" _Leave me alone,_ I think. _You're scary. Like all of them. All of you will hurt me._

"Jayden's been a little extra skittish this afternoon," Ji-voice says next to me.

"Why?"

"He was in his room earlier and his door was open. I imagine he heard our conversation." Antonio-voice is silent for a minute.

"Oh," he responded softly in realization. "Jayden, I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to. I was just mad, but not at you. I was mad at the nighlocks. I've been really mad lately. It's not like me, but I can't help it. All of this...it scares me." I stop eating for a second, and against my better judgement, put my spoon down. I'm always anxious that they'll take it away and I'll never find it if I let go. _Antonio-voice is scared?_ "It's scares me seeing you like this Jay. It scared me all those weeks and days I had no clue where you were. It scares me that I don't know what's going to happen. I didn't mean to yell. I never meant to scare you."

I grab at my spoon and accidentally knock the bowl over. I hear two gasps, and I yelp when some of the hot soup hits my lap. I jump back and hear my chair topple over. _Oh no!_ I back away from them as Ji-voice tells Antonio to get a towel. I trip on my feet and fall onto the ground. I hear one of them approach me and whine, curling up into a ball. I hide my face in my arms. _Clumsy samurai. Bad, bad, samurai._ "Jayden, are you ok?" Ji-voice asks me. He puts his hand on me and I yelp in terror. He jerks it back.

"P-please," I stammer. "I-I s-sorry. A-accident. N-n-not m-mean t-to."

"I know you didn't," he says to me. I can barely understand him through my panic.

"I-I v-very s-sorry. V-very. P-please d-don't h-hit-"

"Jayden, clam down," he says when I start sobbing.

"I-I s-sorry. I-I s-sorry."

"It's ok." Ji-voice is next to me know and pulling me up gently so I'm sitting. He wraps his arms around me hugs me to him. "It's ok Jayden. It's ok."

"I-I s-sorry..." I sob, pressing my face into his chest.

"It's ok," he reiterates. "Shh... Don't cry. It's ok."

"B-bad, b-bad s-samurai."

"No, you're not bad. You're very good. You're a good samurai." Eventually I start to calm down and he is still holding me. "Jayden," he says, turning my head so he can look at my unseeing eyes. "I will never hurt you because you did something wrong. It was an accident. You didn't mean too, and you regretted it. I'm not mad, and you're not in trouble. Understand?" I try to. I really do. But my mind cannot conceive why he would treat me his way. I was bad, shouldn't he punish me? I'm confused over it.

He keeps saying he'll never hurt me. And so far he's never touched me to simply hit me. Or even hit me at all. No punches, no kicks, no slaps, no whippings. He's gentle and kind around me. Somewhere, in a dark, recess, I can remember someone who did that. Who was kind to me. But it's difficult. My brain can only remember the pain and darkness. And the monsters. As I calm down though, I begin to feel bad because I wasted my food. Its gone and now I might not get more. Maybe that's why he won't hit me. _Maybe he'll starve me instead._

"Now that you're all calmed down, I think its time you took a nap. It's probably been a long day for you. Come on." He gets up and helps me too my feet. He holds me gently but firmly as he leads me back to what must be my room. I wait a minute, then he's pushing me gently down. I lay down and he covers me up. "There you go. Sleep tight. I'll wake you up in a few hours." I close my eyes when I hear him leave. I pull my blanket tighter and try to sleep.

-Kintsukuroi-

_I bite at the ropes around my wrists. They're tighter than the ones around my ankles. I know they are tied to a metal ring on the floor. I don't care. I'm trying to escape. I can still see, and am unaware I someday won't. 'Keep trying,' I think. 'Keep fighting. I think. 'I almost of got it.' I hear a door open. And look up. _

_"Serrator," I say, my voice filled with venom. _

_"Having fun Red Ranger?" he asks me. _

_"Where am I? Where's Antonio?" _

_"Now that would be telling. And it no fun to reveal all my secrets, now is it?" I pull viscously the ropes, trying to jump at them. They laugh as I fail. _

_"What did you do with him?!" _

_"He was in the way," Serrator answers dismissively. "He was nothing. You were the real prize, so I had the moogers end his pathetic existence." _

_"You're lying," I bluff worriedly. Doubt starting to cloud my mind. "You're trying to trick me." _

_"How will you ever know?" Serrator responded, grabbing my ams and pulls me forward. He holds me up slightly; I stare at him in defiance. "You are never going to see you're friends, or home, again."_

-Kintsukuroi-

I shoot up in my bed taking deep breaths. _Dream,_ I think. _Bad dream._ I lay back down and stare out at nothing. _That Jayden was brave,_ I think. _I am Jayden, but I am not him. I am not the Jayden that was defiant. I am not the Jayden that fought back. I can't fight back anymore._

I suddenly want to be outside. I want to feel the fresh air and the warmth of sunlight. I get up and ease myself up. I start walking, using my hands to walk along the bed. I soon run out of bed and start walking with no way of knowing here I am, or where I'm going. I put my hand out and wrap it around something. I keep moving and whatever it is moves with me, if worn at the shape. _What is it?_ I wrap my other hand around it quickly, and just as fast regret it.

I yelp in pain when the blade bites deep into my hand. I heard someone running and the door opening.

"Jayden! What-oh man! I thought Ji took out all the sharp and pithy objects." Antonio-voice is soon releasing my grip on the knife. "Easy Jay. There we go. Come on, let's get your hand bandaged." He pulls me along to someplace else. "Sit here. Ji!"

"What? What's he doing up?"

"I guess he decided to take a short walk. He must've reached onto the shelf and accidentally pulled a knife out of its sheath."

"A knife? I thought I removed all the weapons." Ji-voice sounds guilty as he holds my hand gently. I wince as he examines a prods it. He presses a cloth against it and holds my other hand on top. "Keep putting pressure on it. Ok?" I nod and put my head down. I hear him move away and keep pressing the cloth into my cut. I feel the blood pooling underneath, it stings and makes me cringe. I feel someone remove it and dab at my hand with something. This really stings. I try to jerk away, but they're holding on to me too tight. I shake my headed in desperation.

"It's ok," Antonio-voice says. I feel his hands on my arms. "It's ok Jayden. Ji's just cleaning the cut. You don't want it to become infected." When it's over I relax a little and feel Ji-voice wrapping a bandage around my hand. "I'm sorry Jayden," he says as he does. "This is my fault. I should've double checked your room for sharp objects. You're going to be alright though." When. He's done he hugs me. I stiffen at the touch and remain rigged. When he pulls away he touches the skin around one if my eyes gently. I whine a little. "Sorry. It just seems like a nightmare. That's what I keep hoping this is. Just a nightmare."

"Ji?" a new voice says timidly.

"Yes?"

"Daisuke just called. He needs you."

"Now?" "He said it was urgent."

"Alright. Can you sit with Jayden while I'm gone?"

"Um..."

"Just keep him outside or something. I think he likes the fresh air. Just sit with him and keep him safe."

"Alright." She sounds a little scared.

"Jayden," Ji-voice says putting his hands on my shoulders. "I have to go for a little while. I'll be back soon. Emily is got in to take care of you while I'm gone. Ok?" I nod, a little unsure, but I shouldn't disagree. "Ok then." I feel him let go and wait. Eventually a door shuts.

"Hi Jayden," the timid voice says coming closer. "It's Emily." I feel her put her hand on my non-bandaged one gently. "You want to go outside?" She waits, and I eventually nod. "Come on." I don't like her touching me. I don't know if she will hurt me. She most likely will. I pull away, but she holds fast. "Jayden, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just taking you outside."

Suddenly I hear a loud noise going off. I cover my ears. "Oh no! Not an attack, not now!" I hear footsteps running. "We have a problem."

"Yeah," Kevin-voice replies. "There's a nighlock attack."

"No, Ji is gone. We can't leave Jayden here by himself."

"God dammit," one of the voice says.

"Emily, you stay here with him," Kevin-voice instructs. "We'll call you if we absolutely need you."

"Ok." I hear them leave and the noise eventually stops. "Come on, let's go outside now." She leads me outside and sits me down on the ground. I shiver a little in the sunlight. "It sure is nice out today." I simply sit and wrap my arms around my knees as I pull them up. Emily voice sighs. "Sorry I haven't come to see you. To tell you the truth I was scared. You were always so brave. I think maybe, you're still the bravest of us all." I look in the discretion of her voice, in front of me, with disdain. I shouldn't trust her, but her words are intriguing.

_Brave?_ I think. _I am not brave. I am not a good samurai, and I am not brave. I'm a bad samurai and I'm a scared child hiding in the corner. I don't know who this Jayden is that was so brave and good, but he's not me. I'm not him. I'm not the Jayden they think I am._


	6. Making Mistakes

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter Six: Making Mistakes

A/N: hello readers! Whoo, finally got this chapter done! Yeah, poor Jayden. Anyways, please review and read!

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

I sit with Emily-voice in the warm sunlight. I wonder why she is so quiet. I run my hands over the stone on the ground. I hear a loud noise and jump. "Antonio!" I hear her leave and sit in the darkness; wondering what's going on. "What happened?!"

It's Kevin-voice that answers, sounding worried and out of breath. "Damn Serrator is what happened! I swear to god, if there was ever an evil monster, it's him!"

_Serrator,_ I think. I know that name. It brings fear to my heart. Fear, and guilt for feeling the fear. _Not my fault,_ I think. _Monsters' fault._

"Let's get him inside," a voice suggests. "Someone get Jayden."

I hear footsteps approaching me and shy away from them. "Come on Jayden," Emily-voice says. I feel her put a hand on my arm as she guides me to stand. She leads me somewhere, most likely back inside, with a very gentle touch. "I'm going to take you to your room, ok?" I nod. "Alright then. I need to make sure the others don't need help with Antonio. If you need us, yell."

As she takes me there, I can hear someone screaming in pain. I jump and pull away. "Jayden! Stop, Jayden!" I pull and pull, trying to get her to let go. _I don't want any more pain! Please!_ "Guys!" she shouts. "I need help!"

I hear more footsteps coming and someone else grabs my arm. I'm not strong enough to fight them both and they're able to overpower me. "It's ok Jay," the new voice says as we walk. "It's alright."

As soon as they let go I sink to the ground. I hear a door shut, muting the screams. But not enough. I crawl in the darkness, looking for some place safe. I eventually find a corner and huddle myself into it. I curl up into a ball when the screams get worse. I cover my ears with my hands. I start crying, because I can still hear them. Loud and clear. The never ending screams. But this time they don't belong to Antonio-voice. They're my screams.

I can hear them in my head, reverberating around my skull. I whimper and moan, wishing they would stop. I think maybe I'm screaming now too. It sounds more like sobs though. Dry sobs are escaping my throat, as I start to rock back and forth. I can still hear the screaming as loud as ever.

I don't know how long it is until I feel someone's hands on me. They're wrapping their arms around me and I struggle, shaking my head.

"Jayden, it's ok, it's me. It's Ji. It's ok Jayden."

I recognize the sound of his voice and cling to it. I clench his clothes in my hands hard, still sobbing.

"It's alright," he says. "Don't worry, you're safe. You're ok."

I start to calm down and hiccup.

"It's alright, see? It's ok. You're ok." When I can breath normally and I'm not sobbing he lets go. He holds my hands in his. "See? It's ok. Do you feel better now?" I nod. "The others told me you started screaming hours ago." That explains why my throat hurts. But then again, I'm used to screaming until it's raw. "Is it because you heard Antonio screaming?"

I nod, suddenly wondering if Antonio-voice is ok. He is very nice to me, and I don't want anything to happen to him.

"He's ok. He's asleep now. Serrator ambushed them and Antonio...he threw Antonio threw and window and collapsed a building on top of him." _Serrator. That name is evil._ "He has many injuries, and will take a while to recover. He's alive though, and he'll be ok. Do you understand?" I nod.

"T-t-s-"

"What? What did you say?"

"S-see T-Toni-o?" I asked quietly, my voice hoarse from screaming.

Ji-voice pats my hands. "Yes, you can go see him." He helps me to my feet and leads me out of the room. I follow him anxiously, wanting to be near 'Tonio. Eventually I hear whispers coming ahead. I shrink behind Ji and grab the back of his shirt with my hand. "It's ok Jayden," he says. "It's just the other rangers. They've been sitting with Antonio for a while now."

I hear the voice get a little louder, then they suddenly stop. I shrink behind Ji even more.

"Jayden wanted to come see Antonio."

"I don't think he'll be seeing anyone," one of the unknown voices remarks. "Ow!"

"Not funny Mike," Kevin-voice says.

Ji slowly moves me in front of him and I feel him place one of my hands on something. I feel a blanket, and a hand. I wrap my fingers around the hand. "T-Tonio?" I ask tentatively.

"Yes," Ji replies, still standing next to me. "It's Antonio."

"Did you tell him about what happened?" Kevin-voice asks.

"Yes. I told him Serrator injured Antonio in battle today."

"M-monsters h-hurt T-Tonio?" I ask again.

"Yeah," Emily-voice answers. "The monsters hurt Antonio."

I cling to his hand, feeling very sad. "M-monsters h-hurt 'T-Toni 'c-cause h-help m-me?"

"No Jayden," Ji answered too quick, putting his hands on my shoulders. "It's nothing you did. Believe me. None of this is your fault." Then, he takes my hand on 'Tonio's and pulls it away. "Come on, let's get dinner started." I moan in protest, and try to pull away. "Jayden-" he puts his hand on my stomach-

_-The monster forced me onto my back with a sharp kick to my knees. I struggle and whimper, making him laugh. I feel his hand on my stomach as I feel a knife carve the surface of my skin-_

-I shake my head and pull away again. "Na!" I sob as I do. My breath starts to become very fast, my heart beating in my ribs. "N-m-n-!" I mumble trying to get away.

"Jayden calm down," Ji says trying to keep me calm. "It's ok. I won't hurt you, I promise."

_Empty promises..._

_I wrap my arms around my stomach in pain. It's not the constant growling that bothers me. It's the pain it causes. It feels like knives being poked through my stomach. The thought makes me shiver; fingering the stab wounds on my sides and torso. They're not very big, or deep, but they hurt a lot. Something grabs me and pulls me from my corner._

_I have a hard time breathing in my panic. The monster laughs. _

_"So, Red Ranger, have you learned your lesson?"_

_I nod. "I v-very-ah!" I yelp when he kicks my ribs, knocking me over._

_"Who gave you permission to speak?" I shake my head in earnest. I was very sorry. I did not mean to disobey. "Bad samurai." I nod. "Very bad. You obviously haven't learned your lesson." I shake my head and reach out. I press my face into the ground, whimpering. The monster promised if I behaved I could have food. As if to illustrate the point, I wince again I pain because of the emptiness of my stomach._

_He kicks me away and makes a noise of disgust. "Pathetic. Put him back over there."_

_More monsters grab me and drag me back to my corner. I sit against it and moan again at the sharp hunger pains..._

"Jayden, stop!" Ji says in desperation. He grabs my arm and jerks it down. I immediately fall to my knees and he lets go in shock. I whimper and cower on the ground. I feel someone put their hand on my shoulder and I whine even louder. "Jayden," Ji-voice says quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. You were out do control, I had to do something.

"I didn't want to scare you. I'm sorry. Will you let me look at your arm?"

_Sorry?_ I think. _Why sorry? Trying to trick me,_ I decide. _Trying to trick me._ I turn my head away and lean into the wall.

He sighs and pats my knee, making me jump. "It's ok. I'll bring you some food in here, ok?" His hand is gone now, and I hear his footsteps, followed by others leave. I say where I am, curled up again the wall. It doesn't feel as safe as the corner, but it still comforts me.

-Kintsukuroi-

Some time later I hear footsteps approaching again. I wrap my arms around myself tighter, leaning more on the wall. The footsteps stop and I hear something scraping gently on the floor.

"Jayden," Ji-voice touches my trembling hand. I jump and whimper, pulling away. "I'm just here to bring you food. Here." I feels something metal brush against my knuckles and yelp, jumping away. "It's just a spoon.." I hear it sliding on the floor, but didn't go near it. _Trick-_

_'Just a spoon,' I think as I reach forward. I know it is a mistake as soon as my fingers close around it because the blade digs into my palm. The mosnsters laugh and I feel the blade jerk away, slicing my hand open-_

I shake my head and scoot away more. I hear him sigh in sadness.

"Ok. It will be right here. Just...rub your hand on the floor until you find it." I hear him leave and wrap my arms around myself again. I put my head on the wall. I can hear raspy breathing not too far away. It more reminds me of my own. I close my eyes and fall asleep, hoping not to have nightmares.

-Kintsukuroi-

I hear voices when I'm awake again. I stay every quiet, trying to remain unnoticed.

"-lucky to be alive," Ji-voice says.

"I consider myself lucky to have all my limbs," 'Tonio replies. "Kind wish I was still asleep."

"Is it the pain?"

"Everything is in pain Ji." I believe him. I cam hear it in his voice. It's strained and tired.

"I'm not surprised. You've broken so many bones, not even the healing symbol could fix them all."

"Remind me to thank Kevin for that. I can't believe he did it. Mr. By-the-book went and did the most irrational thing possible."

"I know. But it worked. Honestly, I think they just couldn't stand to hear you screaming anymore."

'Tonio sighs. "I feel so tired."

"Then go to sleep. All you can do now is rest."

"Well at least now I can keep Jayden company."

"If he wants it."

"I've never taken that into consideration in our entire friendship."

"Yes, I'm aware of that."

"What's...what with the look?"

"I scared him earlier. he's attested having a panic attack and I had to grab his arm to keep him from hurting someone, or himself."

"Oh. It's ok Ji."

"I fear I may have broken any trust he had in me."

"It's ok. He'll trust you again. With time."

"Antonio, I know you care very much for Jayden, maybe even too much at times. But, he's not in his right mind."

"I know, but I don't care. I'm not giving up on him. Even if he never remembers me."

"He's lucky to have a friend like you."

"I always said the same about him."

"Go to sleep."

I hear some shuffling and in a few minutes deep breathing. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep. A couple a minutes later I feel a blanket draped over me, and Ji-voice pats my hair. "Sleep tight Jayden," he says, when I shudder a little under his touch. "Tomorrow is a new day."

I hear his footsteps leave and I pull the blanket around myself. I try to relax and get back to sleep.


	7. Confused

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

_*Italic indicates thought_

Chapter Seven: Confused

A/N: Hello! Sorry about the long wait. I finally got this chapter done. Please read and review!

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

I open my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. I can still hear the raspy breathing coming from 'Tonio. I rub my eyes and pull the blanket over my head when I hear footsteps.

"Is he ok?" Kevin-voice asks softly.

"Yes," Ji-voice answers. "It's going to be a while before he's walking, but he'll get better.

"Jayden's still in here?"

"After what happened yesterday, I didn't have the heart to try and move him back to his room."

"Antonio looks terrible," a new voice says.

"You're up early," Kevin-voice replies, amused.

"Couldn't sleep. What's the prognosis on Antonio?"

"He'll live. He woke up around midnight briefly. It'll be a while before he can fight though," Ji-voice replies quietly.

"Well, we already have Jayden to look after, adding Antonio in shouldn't be too hard."

"Mike, when you stay stuff like that, it makes me want to smack you into next week," Kevin-voice says.

I shiver a little.

"What? It's true."

"Yes, but you don't have to say it."

"Mike, why don't you go?" Ji-voice suggested.

"Fine. I know when I'm not wanted."

I hear him leave and pull the blanket down a little bit, using it rub my eyes.

"Good morning Jayden," Ji-voice says. I feel him put a hand on my head, making me shudder. I shake my head and he moves it. "Sorry. Are you hungry?" I nod. He holds my hands and tries to pull me to my feet, but I whine in fear and pull back. "Ok, ok," he says, letting go. "I'll being some food to you." He pats my head and I hear him leave.

I shove the blanket off my shoulders, but not before using it to rub my eyes again. I feel around for it, then sit on it, leaning against the wall. I hear footsteps returning and a chuckle. "Well, I see we've figured out how we'd like to sit today. The bowl is just in front of you, the spoon is next to it on the left side. I'm going to take care of Antonio."

I hear him move away and reach out carefully. I feel the metal and rub all of it gently, confirming it was a spoon. I pick it up and feel the warmth of the bowl, pulling it close. I sit cross-legged and put the bowl in my lap. I finger the rim, then dip the spoon in and eat it. I enjoy the taste of the mush.

"Mmmm..." I turn my head towards the noise.

"Antonio?" Ji-voice asks. "Antonio, can you hear me?"

"Mmhm. V-very loud and...clear, Ji. Could you talk a little quieter please?"

"Sorry. How do you feel?"

"Pain. And I can't feel one of my arms."

"Which one?"

"Um...this one."

"Can you move it?"

"Mm..." I jump, clutching my food to keep it from spilling, when I hear sudden outburst if pain.

"Sorry."

"I...I think we scared Jayden."

"Sorry Jayden," Ji-voice says. I eat another spoonful while I hear 'Tonio gasping and moaning. "I'll see about giving you some pain medicine."

"Y-you would be my...my favorite person...Ji."

Ji-voice chuckles. "Probably. Just, keep yourself calm."

"Mm...does sleep count as calm?"

"Do you think you can stay awake long enough to have a drink?"

"Mm..sleepy."

"Come on, you need water." I hear him sipping and coughing, making me tense. A couple seconds later his breathing is deep and calm again. I hear Ji-voice coming. "Keep an eye on him, Jayden." I hear his footsteps leave and I relax a little bit. I'm able to eat the rest of my food in peace while I listen to 'Tonio sleeping.

-Kintsukuroi-

Sometime later I'm sitting with my back pressed against the wall with my legs crossed. I listen to 'Tonio breathing. His breathing sounds strange though. It's not like it was the night before. Now it is uneven and shallow. I hear him start to cough and I worry. "Mmm." I jump a little when he moans. "Mm-"

I turn my head towards the noise even more and clench my fist. I hear him coughing even more. It sounds worse this time. He starts moaning again and I hit my head against the wall. I want to help 'Tonio, but I couldn't do anything in the darkness. I hit my head against the wall again, harder this time. I want to get someone's attention, but I'm afraid to talk.

I bang myself against the wall again, even louder this time. I hear footsteps running and pull the blanket out from under me with difficulty. I pull it over my head, hiding me from view as footsteps enter the room. "What's going on?" Kevin-voice asks. "Jayden I can tell your hiding under the blanket." He sighs. "Oh no, Antonio. Ji!" I hear him mumbling something. "Ji!"

"What?"

"I think Antonio's having a hard time breathing."

Ji-voice is quiet for a minute. "I think it's his broken ribs."

"Well what can we do?! He's coughing up blood!"

"I can try to re-wrap them. It could help ease his breathing. And I hate to say it, but the best thing for him now might be sleep."

"Meaning?"

"We may have to put him to sleep."

"You mean use the 'sleep' symbol I hope. Ji that has the power to knock someone out for years."

"I know. But if his body is controlling everything on instinct it'll keep his brain from overreacting."

Kevin-voice sighs. "I just...it's hard to imagine doing that."

"You can control it so he only sleeps for a few days. It's cruel to let him suffer like this."

Kevin-voice is quiet for a minute. "Yeah, ok. I agree. I don't want him to suffer. We'll put him out for a few days to give him a break from the pain."

"Agreed. So now, you do that, but I have a question."

"Ok..."

"Why is Jayden hiding under a blanket?"

"To be honest, I don't really know why."

I tremble when I hear footsteps coming towards me. I whine when Ji-voice tries to pull it off of me. I clutch it in my hands earnestly. "Ok, fine," he says. "Keep it there. Jayden?" I take the blanket off and offer it towards his voice. "No, it's fine. Keep your blanket. Jayden, we're going to make it so Antonio sleeps for a little while. Do you understand?" I nod.

"Good. Do you want to come with me? I want to change your bandages again." I don't really want to, and I shake my head. "As much as I don't want to force you to do things you don't want to, I have to look at your injuries again." He pulls my arms, and I am on my feet. I feel him wrap an arm around me and guide me.

I walk carefully, next to him. When he sits me down I clench my jeans in my fist. I want to ask him about earlier. _Why 'Tonio sleep? I want 'Tonio._ I feel him putting something on my wounds. "These are going to scar," he whispers. I hear footsteps running all of a sudden, followed by voices.

"I'm going to kill you Mike!"

"I swear, it wasn't me!"

Ji-voice stops what he's doing. "What in the world-"

The footsteps are suddenly really loud. They run past me, and something pushes me off my seat. I expect to fall on the ground, but instead hit something very hard. My head bangs off it, snapping my neck back. I land on the ground afterwards and cry put in pain. I immediately pull my legs up against my body and cover my throbbing head with my arms.

I start sobbing in shock. I wonder what is did wrong this time.

"Mike! Kevin! Stop running!"

"He-"

"I don't care. You hurt Jayden, and probably scared him! Now both you, go to your rooms!"

"Yes Ji."

"Yes JI."

Both voices sound ashamed and guilty. I hear them walk away, but slower this time. I feel Ji-voice put his hands on my arms gently. "It's ok. It's alright. Mike and Kevin didn't mean to hurt you. They were just...over-excited."

I stayed curled up, crying quietly. All of this is so confusing. _Why 'Tonio nice, but others hurt me? Why Ji-voice always trying to trick me? Worse than monsters. Monsters never pretend to be nice._ I feel Ji-voice life my head up and places it in his lap. I mumble and shake as he brushes my hair gently with his fingers. "Sh...Sh...it's ok."

He traces my head and touches the wound on it gently. "It's ok. It's just a bump. Mia!"

"Yeah? What happened-"

"Can you get get some ice please? And water. Just...not together."

"Alright. Be right back."

Ji-voice goes back to stroking my face. "It's ok."

I try to stop crying, but I can't. I feel so scared and helpless again, and I can't control it. I hear footsteps returning and try to curl up into a ball.

"Here Ji."

"Thank you." I feel him putting something very cold on my head. _Ice,_ I assume. "Here Jayden, sit up." He helps me into a sitting position and a feel him place something against my lips. "Here, drink this. It's just water." I sip at the water eagerly, gulping it down. He moves the cup and wipes my cheeks. "There, see? It's all better now." _It can never better,_ I think. I shake my head.

"No?" he asks. "Why not?" I gulp and shake my head, putting my hands over my mouth. I can still feel him pressing the ice to my head. "Jayden, you can a talk. I promise, no one will ever hurt you because you talked." I shake me head again, unable to believe him. "It's true." He moves my hand and places it on the ice. "Here hold this in place. There you go. Now, I'll take you to your room, and you can lay down.

"Then I have to have a strict lecture with Mike and Kevin." He leads me to my feet, then we begin walking to my room. I keep the ice against my head. It's cold, but a nice cold. When he pushes me onto a bed...my bed...he takes the ice from my head. "If you get thirsty, just reach gently for the cup. I'll have to find a water bottle you can use so you don't spill anything."

I lay down and he throws a blanket over me. "There you go. Stay here for now. Ok?" I nod and hear him leave. "The door is open, so if you need me...scream or yell, or something." I nod again and try to relax when I can no longer hear his footsteps. I lay in the quiet and darkness for a few minutes before I hear yelling.

"I honestly can't believe you two! You know Jayden is in a fragile state right now! He can't afford, or handle, being pushed into a table! I don't care which of you started it, but both of you are at fault! As his friends, as well we ranger, I expect you to behave better than that!"

I shake in my bed, clutching the blanket. I want him to stop yelling. Yelling scares me. If someone is yelling there's ether pain, or there's going to be. I think about 'Toni, who will be asleep for a few days. I don't know if I can handle all of this knowing he might never be there. I curl up slightly. _Please...somebody. Keep me safe._


End file.
